Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Where do you see yourself in five years? Most of the time, you probably cruise along on autopilot, maintaining the status quo. At some point, most people find themselves facing the complicated decision of whether to stick with it or call it quits. Recent research, including my own in the field of relationship science , has explored how people make these choices. It feels as if there could be as many reasons someone would decide to maintain or end a relationship as there are relationships.
People came up with 27 broad reasons for staying. These focused on key relationship components such as attraction, physical and emotional intimacy and support. People were reluctant to lose the time and effort they had already invested and were fearful of being alone. Can you be yourself around your partner?
Do you agree when you talk about big topics like politics, religion, family? Do you get on well with their friends? I like their friends. Do you feel like they understand you? All couples go through tough moments and good moments. Again, you can try and rate it on a scale. What is the cost of me leaving? If you and your partner are married, if you have children together, if you have been in relationship a long time — all of these are factors when you are considering whether you want to continue investing time and effort in the relationship.
When we are under stress and feeling challenged by our relationship, it can be difficult to answer these questions. A couples counselor or taking an online course can assist both of you in getting a clearer picture of what is happening in your relationship so that you can determine the best course of action.
Another option is to come for individual counseling so you would have your own space to reflect on these questions and issues. Ready to transform your relationship? Click here to email us your questions!
When you are considering a divorce or breakup…. Previous Next. If you conclude that you and your partner cannot be happy together, consider ending it.
You will do yourself a favor and may even avoid something worse, like cheating. If you conclude that you are happiest in a relationship together, then put in the hard work to repair the things that got you in a place of doubt. If you need help resolving your ambivalence, we can help you come to a decision. Give us a call at and ask to set up an appointment with one of our couples counseling specialists.
Written by: Dr. Andrea Guschlbauer, Ph. Toggle navigation. How do you decide what to do when you experience ambivalence about your relationship? Here are some things to think about if you are questioning your relationship: 1.
Carefully explore the following considerations: Have small irritations become so frequent that they are no longer tolerable? General Inquiry Make an Appointment. Please indicate if their is a specific therapist that you would like to work with Select your therapist optional Judith Norton, R.
Shawna Atkins, Ph. Rita Odabachian, M.
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